Choice
by Hi10000000
Summary: One RiverClan tom is forced to choose between his Clan and his true love. Has extreme metaphors and timing. SHOULD ALSO HAVE SPIRITUAL AS A GENRE.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: OC story in which a RiverClan cat (whose name you will find out, shockingly) has to choose between his Clanmates, and his true love (who unfortunately is in ThunderClan)**

**Disclaimer: Erin Hunter owns Warriors**

**Characters—**

**Nightfrost: Our main character. A RiverClan tom who fell in love with a ThunderClan she-cat.**

**Moonbright: Said she-cat of ThunderClan.**

Part 1

_The sun began to sink into the sky, signaling the end of the day. Its dying rays tinted the sky orange, which solidified into a faint red. A lone cloud drifted across the fading sky, and was set on fire by the sun's rays. _

Sunningrocks was quiet. Too quiet. The air around it was still, but it crackled with a strange intensity. The surrounding territories, forest and river, seemed to be holding its' breath, waiting for something to happen.

Then the cry split the air.

"Attack!"

Two forces, of forest and river, they clashed. They had been waiting in the shadows, waiting, for the signal to strike. Now, they lunged out and met each other head-on, in a whirl of teeth and claws. The feud over Sunningrocks had surrounded RiverClan and ThunderClan for as long as any cat could remember, and now they fought.

_The sun's rays colored the sky into a painting of flickering reds. The entire sky appeared to be smeared red with the sun's pigment, blazing, blazing. The rocks below were stained red by the heavens above, stained red like blood. _

_Blood. _

_Blood would be spilt tonight._

Nightfrost charged with in the ranks of RiverClan, anxiety gripping his heart. _How dare those ThunderClan cats try to steal RiverClan territory?! We'll show them the power of RiverClan! _His Clanmates' eyes betrayed similar thoughts, and they glittered with anger.

"How dare you try to steal our territory?" RiverClan's leader, Shimmerstar, snarled, and RiverClan yelled in agreement. "This is the final straw!"

ThunderClan's leader smirked, his eyes cold as ice. "Sunningrocks had never been yours! Although you talk big, you are too weak to defend it! Sunningrocks belongs to ThunderClan!" He sneered, "Fish-breath."

Shimmerstar's eyes narrowed in fury, and she lunged at the ThunderClan leader, catching him by surprise. RiverClan charged after her, and swept the ThunderClan cats off their paws with their furious attack. Nightfrost bunched his muscles to leap after them, but stopped. _What if…. _He froze, horror constricting his throat. _What if _she _was here? What is he had to fight her? _

Nightfrost shook his head_. It's not possible. StarClan above are not that cruel._ He tried to shake off his worries, and jumped into the fray. But still doubt clung to his mind….

_Blood spread across the skies, covering the appearing stars, just like rage had taken over the minds of the clashing cats below, covering all self-control and peace of mind. Blood spread across the skies, warning of a battle truly terrible, warning of lives lost, of families ripped apart, of hearts broken._

_This battle would break the hearts of many._

A gray tabby she-cat crashed into Nightfrost, knocking the wind out of him. She clawed at his flank, and he yowled in pain and anger. Nightfrost twisted out of her grip and lunged at her, and they began to wildly claw at each other, hissing and spitting. Both were locked in a whirl of teeth and claws, neither side caving in to the other's onslaught. Nightfrost's blows fell randomly, without pattern, and his mind was empty of all strategy, except for the command to hurt the she-cat as much as possible. They rolled around the battlefield in a screeching knot of fur, unnoticing of the battle around them, only focusing on each other.

_The entire sky is on fire now, burning in a raging inferno, raging like the battle below. _

Nightfrost felt the blows of the she-cat weakening, and with a burst of strength, knocked her over and pinned her down. Triumph blazed in his heart, and he smirked at her, mocking her defeat. But her blue eyes were not angry or scared, and they knew no defeat. Nightfrost suddenly reeled back in shock, for those eyes seemed so familiar… _No! It cannot be!_

_Her eyes._

_They spoke of a tale of their own._

_Her eyes. _

_They were much too old for their age, as if they had seen countless bloody battles, met many faithful comrades lost to time; witnessed the terrible monster they called war._

_And yet here they were, here were those eyes, staring into his with undisguised love._

"_Nightfrost." Her voice, soft like wind rustling through the willows, it was the only thing he heard. He whispered her name back, his voice laden with affection._

"_Moonbright."_

_For a moment, he let his worries drift away. It did not matter that they would eventually have to leave each other. It did not matter that their love was forbidden. It did not matter that they were in different Clans, ThunderClan and RiverClan. All that mattered was her warmth, and her love, all for him. All that mattered was that they were together, united by love._

_The moon shone overhead, casting silver dust upon the young lovers. The moon's light lit up the night sky, spreading light to even the darkest of corners. And Moonbright's warmth, it lit up Nightfrost's heart, and warmth spread throughout him. She was his moon, and he was her night sky. Together, they merged into one being, and their souls joined, merged with love._

_Their tails entwined, and their hearts beat as one. The wheels of their fate had begun to turn, quietly, unstoppably, and now their destinies were entwined. The sparkling snow beneath their paws was cuttingly cold, but all they noticed were each other's warmth, warmth of love. Together, they whispered:_

"_I love you."_

Now, Nightfrost stopped. _Those are her eyes! _The she-cat's eyes, glaring into his, they were identical to Moonbright's. _Moonbright! _His paws were locked with horror, and he found himself frozen, ice spreading from his heart. _No! It cannot be!_

Then he heard her voice.

"Sister!"

_The sun vanished behind a cloud, and Sunningrocks was temporarily bathed in darkness. Darkness, of horror, of dread, foretelling a terrible event, a broken heart. But a few tiny rays, red as blood, they broke through the cloud, and now the darkness was tainted with blood. Blood, of one innocent lover, soon to be spilled across the cold stones. _

Using Nightfrost's distraction, Moonbright's sister kicked him in the belly as hard as she could. Nightfrost was launched off of her and slid off of the icy surface of Sunningrocks, into the river.

The water was icy cold, and it stung every cell of Nightfrost's body with needles of ice. Gasping, he struggled to swim against the freezing cold. _So cold. _But he felt the cold sapping his strength, and it was all Nightfrost could do to keep afloat. The cold seemed to have frozen blocks of ice around his limbs, and he was rendered immobile, a prisoner of the river, of the cold. He could only watch as the battle raged on, only watch as the shadow approached her….

_A stronger sunbeam pierced the cloud and soaked it with blood. It fell through the sky, bloodred like death itself, heading towards earth, heading towards Sunningrocks, heading towards one cat in particular. And as it hit earth, it illuminated one cat, one she-cat helping her sister, and she was bathed in blood. Her blood. _

_Fate had spoken._

_This she-cat would die._

_Silhouetted against the red sky, the rising moon vanished behind a cloud._

Nightfrost saw the shadow heading towards her. He saw it gather up behind her, saw it bunch its legs to pounce on her. He opened his mouth to shout a warning, but a wave swamped him, filling his mouth with freezing water. And when he had finally blinked the water out of his eyes, it was too late.

The shadow lunged, and she fell, pinned under it. They rolled around the battlefield, a whirlwind of teeth and claws. Nightfrost could only watch as claws flashed and screams ripped the air, ripped his soul. He could only watch as his moon vanished behind a cloud, the shadow. Claws flashed once more, and his moon vanished behind a cloud forever. Claws flashed once more, and Moonbright's blood splattered Sunningrocks, and her last scream pierced the air, more painful to him than his wounds stinging in the water, than the cold biting at his fur. The harsh realization was more painful than anything else in the world. The harsh realization that Moonbright was dead.

Moonbright was dead.

The cold was greater now, for it came not just from the outside, but from the inside as well. It spread its icy fingers from his heart, up his spine, into his mind, his soul. The cold froze his heart, froze it into one giant block of ice, of icy cold disbelief. And then it shattered, shattered into a thousand tiny shards, and he let out a scream, screaming all his pain, all his sorrow, all his heartbreak. He screamed, screamed at the heavens above, the ones that were stained with her blood.

"_Moonbright! No!" _

Time seemed to stop. The battle around his ceased in his mind, no longer relevant. All he knew was silence, silence that pressed on him from all four sides, silence and the grief. His heart had shattered, and all that remained were the thousand tiny ice shards. His mind, his heart, his happiness, it had all shattered, like the sparkling thin ice over a pond shattering, revealing the freezing cold waves of grief below it. His night sky was dark, all dark, for the moon that had lit it up before was gone, covered by a cloud forever.

Gone.

It was gone, all gone. His love, his life, his very universe, it was all gone, torn away from him by that one shadow obscuring the moon, obscuring it from him forever. It was all gone, all his happiness, all his love. The joy that had blossomed in his heart, spreading warmth with the radiance of its silken petals, it was nothing now, just a mess trampled into the ground by the cold. Gone. All gone.

All taken away from him by the shadow.

_Cloudshadow. _He remembered the shadow's name now. Cloudshadow. She was the shadow, the cloud that blocked the moon. She had killed Moonbright. Why? She had been jealous. Always jealous. She had wanted Nightfrost's heart for herself, even believed that it was hers. But he had seen her as no more than a Clanmate, never loved her. And then she had found his secret, found him with Moonbright. She had snapped, and now this was her revenge.

"_I love you," they had whispered together, in unison. "You are my universe. You are everything to me." _

_He had been happy, so happy. His heart had been swelling with warm love, affection pouring over the brim. He was her night sky. She was his moon. Together, they were complete. _

_He had been happy, until he heard that snap._

_It had been just one tiny snap. Just one tiny noise. But their love was forbidden, so every noise was a dire warning for them. This snap triggered alarm bells in both their minds, and Moonbright sped off, back into ThunderClan territory. He had then gone to investigate the noise, hoping that it was just a mouse or a squirrel, but he had been wrong._

"_Cloudshadow!" He snarled, rage in his eyes. "You followed me!"_

_He had seen the pain in Cloudshadow's eyes, the pain of being rejected, the pain of a broken heart. He had seen the shock, the horror, but he didn't care. All he felt was anger, anger at being discovered. He didn't care that Cloudshadow's heart had splintered into a million pieces, irrepairable. He only cared that she had followed him, found his secret. Rage overwhelmed him, and he knocked Cloudshadow over._

"_You- you don't love me." She choked out. Her weakness made him angrier._

"_I never loved you! Never! Why should I have loved you? I never did, and never will! What insane thought made you think that I did?!" His words, each sharper than his claws, they were said just to wound her. But instead, she developed a steely glint in her eyes._

"_You might not love me, but you cannot stop me from telling Shimmerstar!"_

_Without meaning to, he unsheathed his claws and scratched her on the nose, hard. "If you ever tell anyone," he growled, venom dripping in his words, " You will die. I will personally kill you if you tell."_

_Terror flashed in her eyes, and she nodded, heartsick. Her eyes no longer shined with life, they were flat, like those of a dead thing. She was broken. _

_He didn't care._

Once again, rage filled him. It grew in his heart, expanding and expanding, consuming his very soul in its flames. It scorched his heart black with hatred, hatred and rage, a desire for revenge. His very mind was on fire, all his sanity burned away, and instead it flickered with insanity. Flames burned in his eyes, and the cold of the river was suddenly gone, replaced by wildfires of hate.

_The sun burst out from behind the cloud with a surge of light. Its fiery light, once just an omen, it burned with the very flames of hell now. The cloud covering the sun was skewered by its angry rays, and was soaked in bloodred light, blood. It was set aflame, and it burned, burned all away, until it drifted away, out of sight forever. _

The cold was driven back by the flames of Nightfrost's fury, and the river released its grip. He leaped out of the river, once again into the battle. Cats screeched and fought all around him, but he did not see them. All he saw was that hated she-cat, locked on combat with Moonbright's sister. The flames roared higher than ever, and in his rage he pounced blindly, and pushed Cloudshadow off of Sunningrocks.

Cloudshadow fell with a scream, but Nightfrost heard nothing. Moonbright's sister snarled in hate, and for a moment his fury was shared. But the wildfire screamed for more, more pain to be done to her. It screamed for her to suffer. So they leaped down, and pushed Cloudshadow into the river.

Cloudshadow just barely fought to the surface of the water, struggling. Without hesitation, Nightfrost shoved her back under. Moonbright's sister held her down, under the waves of the river, and soon Cloudshadow's struggles ceased, and she drifted off into the river, never to wake. The flames were quenched now, as they burned smaller and smaller, but the cold was returning, and soon his soul was frozen in grief once again.

Nightfrost heard Shimmerstar yowl in victory. He saw Moonbright's sister's eyes widen in panic as she fled. He saw the RiverClan cats join their leader's song of victory, but he heard nothing. The flames in him were quenched now, and once again he was frozen, frozen in grief, frozen in time as the rest of his Clanmates moved on.

He saw Shimmerstar give the order to return to camp. He saw the RiverClan cats sweep past him, no one sparing him a glance. He saw the apprentices chattering rapidly, talking about the excitement of the battle. But he heard nothing, nothing but the thick silence that lay around him, nothing but the echoing grief resounding through his broken heart, sending a fresh wave of pain through his soul. Although the days would pass by and the seasons would go on in their endless cycle, his world had stopped. And why shouldn't it? His moon, his love, his very universe, it was all gone. Moonbright was dead. Gone. Never to come back. Without the moon, what was the night sky? What was it, other than an empty expanse, a broken world of darkness?

Everything was gone now. All was lost.

_The sun had finally set, taking its red light with it. The night sky finally emerged, but it was hollow, broken. The night sky was there, but it was no more than an empty expanse of darkness, hollow with grief. And the moon was obscured by a hidden cloud, obscured, gone._

_Gone. Forever._

**A/N: There will be a second part coming up. Anyway, this part was weird. I don't know what gave me the idea of the extreme metaphors.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This part is weird. Its mostly descriptive, and can be confusing. Since we're in Nightfrost's head for this one, a lot of it is going to be memories. The ending is weird.**

**Disclaimer: Erin Hunter owns Warriors**

Part 2

"_Intruder!" A silver tabby she-cat bowled him over, spitting in his face. He was swiftly pinned down, trapped. Cutting blue eyes glared into his, penetrating into his soul. _

"_What are you doing in ThunderClan territory?" She snarled._

What? _He twisted around as far as he could, looking behind him. Indeed, the border between RiverClan and ThunderClan was far behind him. _Foxdung!

"_Whoops…." Was all he could say. The she-cat snorted. _

"_Are all you RiverClan cats this mousebrained?" _

"_Hey! Don't insult RiverClan!" he protested. She smirked. "You're in no position to order me around. If I wanted, I could bite off your tail, you know. As a punishment."_

"_What?!" He wailed, horrified. "You- you wouldn't!" He was, after all, very fond of his tail._

_She burst out laughing. "I was joking! Gosh, you RiverClan cats really can't take a joke! Honestly, you're so foolish that it would be hard to justify hurting you at all!" Smiling, she got off him, and he got up slowly._

_There was a long, awkward silence. _

"_Well, I've gotta go now," She squirmed uncomfortably, "So hurry up and get your tail off of ThunderClan territory, okay?" He jumped, embarrassed, and quickly crossed back into RiverClan territory._

_She turned around to leave, then stopped. "What's your name?"_

_He froze, surprised, but his surprise quickly turned into hostility. "That's none of your business."_

_She sighed, looking hurt. "I'm Moonpaw." Then she turned and vanished into the darkness of the ThunderClan forest, leaving him feeling strangely empty. _

_As Nightpaw headed back towards RiverClan camp, he looked up at the rising moon. It shone luminously, bright against the darkening sky. The moon's soft light lit up the night sky, reaching even the darkest of corners. It was beautiful. Beautiful…._just like her, _he realized. _Beautiful.

_Without meaning to, his lips parted, and he whispered; "Nightpaw. My name is Nightpaw."_

_The moon lit up the night sky, and Moonpaw's smile lit up Nightpaw's heart. So the next night, as the moon rose, it saw him waiting by the ThunderClan border, waiting for her. Waiting for Moonpaw. _

Waiting for Moonbright.

Nightfrost woke up in his nest alone, with her name on his tongue.

_Moonbright._

For a moment, he forgot everything else. He let himself be absorbed into the warmth of her memory. He let his worries drift away and his heart fly free, into the night sky with her memory. But then the cold remembrance came, the harsh memory impacting his soul.

_The shadow lunged, and she fell, pinned under it. They rolled around the battlefield, a whirlwind of teeth and claws. Nightfrost could only watch as claws flashed and screams ripped the air, ripped his soul. He could only watch as his moon vanished behind a cloud, the shadow. Claws flashed once more, and his moon vanished behind a cloud forever. Claws flashed once more, and Moonbright's blood splattered Sunningrocks, and her last scream pierced the air, more painful to him than his wounds stinging in the water, than the cold biting at his fur. The harsh realization was more painful than anything else in the world. The harsh realization that Moonbright was dead. _

_Moonbright was dead._

Once again, sorrow swamped him, brimming in his eyes. Cold clamped down on his soul, and his heart was once again freezing up, then shattering into a thousand shards. Only this time the cold was quiet, quiet like the falling snow, instead of sharp like shards of ice.

Nightfrost fell lightly back into his nest and closed his eyes, unable to get up and face the party outside. RiverClan was celebrating outside, rejoicing their victory over ThunderClan. Their laughter echoed throughout RiverClan territory, ringing with triumph. Their voices were loud and full of joy, but his was hollow and lifeless. There was nothing left for him, nothing at all, except for the vast emptiness, and the sorrow that fell like snow.

Sorrow fell lightly in his soul, piling heaps of grief and loss. Although his body was just tail-lengths away from RiverClan, he was miles away from the rest of the world, trapped in his sorrow. It fell in the form of snow all around him, glittering, cold snow, and he was buried by the rising heaps, smothered in the sorrow that continued to fall silently, unstopping. The sky above this wasteland was gray, all gray, holding neither light or dark. Outside, the RiverClan party raged on, loud as thunder, but all he heard was silence, the sound of snowflakes falling in his soul.

Sorrow, falling from the sky like snowflakes, silent.

_Nightpaw padded through the snow blanketing FourTrees, their new meeting spot. The snow was freshly fallen, and it glistened brightly under the rising moon. It glittered like silver sand, but melted away when he touched it with the warmth of his body. The whole world seemed to be made up of this beautiful snow, and it all glittered and glistened, a precious thing. FourTrees itself was a jewel, a diamond, preserved in perfect stillness by the fallen snow. _

_Did I say "still"? Let me amend…._

_A dark shape burst out of the snow and tackled Nightpaw. He squealed and fell over, batting at it with his kitten paws. But it ignored his feeble protest, and pinned him down against the ground. He was trapped, with no escape. _

_Nightpaw yowled and squirmed with all his strength, panic gripping his heart, but to no avail. He was really afraid now, and fought with all his strength. But the shape would not let him up, and in fact seemed to be…poking him?_

"_Moonpaw?!" he yowled in disbelief. She grinned mischievously._

"_I got you!"_

_Nightpaw pretended to fall back into the snow, but then suddenly leaped up and flung a pawful of snow at Moonpaw. She squealed and fell over. "Hey!"_

_Moonpaw grabbed some snow and flung it back at Nightpaw, and they began to have a snow-fight, both laughing, carefree. Their laughter echoed high in the four oak tree's branches and danced in the wind, singing of days of joy, days spent staring into the clear blue sky, dreaming, dreaming. _

_Nightpaw stopped, panting, and Moonpaw soon joined him. They lay in a snow-free patch of earth for a while, both busy trying to catch their breath. Then Moonpaw pointed at the stars above, the ones that shone warmly in the velvet sky. _

"_They're beautiful, aren't they?"_

_Nightpaw grinned. "Not as beautiful as you, Moonpaw."_

_Moonpaw laughed, then jumped up. "Come on! I want to show you something!" She clawed her way up one of the four trees, then climbed onto a wide branch. "Come on! The view's awesome!"_

_Nightpaw stopped, whispering. "I can't climb trees."_

"_What?"_

"_I can't climb trees. I'm RiverClan."_

_Moonpaw stopped, looking downcast, but then climbed down the tree, smiling. "Well then you're just going to have to learn how! Every cat can climb trees, and I'll bet you can too, it's in your blood!" She smiled again, and Nightpaw felt his nervousness beginning to fade away, like morning mist fading away as the sun's rays hit it._

"_Okay."_

_True to his word, Nightpaw was soon sitting in the tree with Moonpaw. His breath caught in his throat as he gazed at the snow-glazed world below._

"_Pretty, isn't it?"_

"Pretty" is an understatement, _Nightpaw thought. _

_It was a world of crystalline whites, shadowed by opaque shades. The sky above was soft, holding the diamond stars and moon in its velvety embrace. Below, the world was frozen, preserved in time by the cold snow. It sparkled, each inch crystalline as a diamond. FourTrees itself was a jewel, frosted over in white powder, set alight by the silver crescent moon. And as his breath came out on puffs of steam, Nightpaw's eyes widened in wonder, reflecting the beautiful scene below. _

"…_.It's beautiful" He breathed, wonderstruck._

"_More beautiful than me?" Moonpaw teased. _

"_Of- of course not!"_

"_I was joking." Moonpaw looked away, suddenly pensive. "I know I'll never be as be beautiful as this. Nature itself is a beauty, and I'm just one cat."_

_But Nightpaw objected. To him, there was nothing more beautiful than his Moonpaw. She was his moon, the light of his life. She was everything his world was made up of. She was far more beautiful than the snow, for she warmed his heart with her love. _Love, _he realized, _I love her.

_I love her._

Nightfrost remembered that day, that day that he had finally realized that he loved her. He remembered his worry, his anxiety, his fear of being rejected. He remembered how the passion had grew in his heart, how it had blossomed with the force of a raging river, yet as gentle as the pastel hues of a sunrise. He remembered how he had left it unsaid, left it screaming for her attention in his heart, how he had tried to push it away. But love, as it was called, love is strong, far stronger than him, and he had eventually spilled it, and it had all poured out of his mouth like river water, unstoppable. He remembered his nervousness, and he remembered her smile, the one that lit up his heart with bonfires. He remembered her words, whispered back at him.

"_I love you too."_

But now it was gone, all gone. Now those words would be forever empty, just a whisper in the wind, lost to time. She had been just a delicate flower, here today, gone tomorrow, and she had fell, and no one had caught her. Now the sorrow that fell like snow, now it buried him, and suddenly he was falling, falling through the darkness, falling…

_He wandered the darkness alone, a lost soul. In the vast emptiness, all he could see were shadows, opaque shadows echoing his grief, his loss. All was dark around him, so like his life. And there was no hope, none at all. In this tunnel of darkness, all was lost. The silence of darkness buried him, and was all he could hear, the silence of grief. It swamped him, buried him up to his ears, and echoed all around him, loud as thunder but quiet as the snow. _

_Then he saw the light. _

_He rushed towards it, desperation shining in his eyes. He ran towards it, trying to shake off the darkness that closed behind him, wanting to swallow him, his soul. He ran towards it, knowing that he must reach it, must reach it, or all would come crashing down, ruined forever. He knew that he much reach it, or he would never know light again, and he would be trapped in this tunnel of shadows forever. So he ran towards it, ran as fast as he could, but it was already fading away, like sunlight vaporizing at the touch of darkness…_

_Just when it seemed all was lost, he burst into a clearing_. FourTrees, _he remembered. The place they used to meet. But this was not the FourTrees he knew. This FourTrees was gray, all gray, stained gray by sorrow that fell as snow. The sky above was gray, covered with mourning clouds, and the ground below was blanketed in snow, snow stained gray, too, by the opaque shadows falling from his soul. It was all gray, devoid of all light or dark, just gray. Gray. Like his world was now. Gray, with nothing left._

_Then he saw her._

"_Moonbright!" The cry was torn out of his very soul, ringing with grief, like a desperate rasp made by one's last breath of life. It was a howl, one speaking of piles of sorrow, of a life torn apart. It very essence was his loss, his empty night sky without a moon to guide the way. But she did not respond, and instead to fade away. _

_Snow began to fall now, powdery and soft. He desperately tried to run, run after her, but the snow locked his legs in place, and he was held immobile. Snow fell harder now, brought in by the cold north winds, and in buried him, smothering him. He was trapped, and could only watch as she, the light of his life, watch as she faded away, forever. _

_Then she turned, and his heart seemed to stop._

_Her eyes, they were once full of life, dancing with joy. Now they were cold, distant. Detached from all else. They were still the vivid blue they were before, but they were empty, as if her soul was gone, empty except for the sorrow brimming in her eyes. They were all hollow, and echoed with one message: _Why did you leave me alone?

Why didn't you come with me?

Nightfrost awoke with a silent scream, torn out of his heart, his soul. _Moonbright! _But it never left his mouth, for the silence of his grief pressed down on him from all four sides, and the cold snow fell in his soul harder, carried by the cold north winds. He found sorrow constricting his throat, making it hard to breathe, and his sob of grief was lost amongst the silence.

The snow in his soul fell harder, burying him until he couldn't breathe. It choked him, and darkness crept into his vision, blurring his mind. Without thinking, he got up and ran, ran from it all, from all his sorrow, all his grief, all the shadows trailing at his soul. He ran from it all, trying to leave it all behind, but her hollow eyes stayed in his mind. _Why did I leave her alone? Why didn't I go with her?_

Grief choked him once again, and he fell, with a splash, into the river. _So this is where I run to. _The water here was shallower, and Nightfrost could stand. But the weight of the sorrow threatened to pull him down once again.

The heavens above were reflected in the still water. The velvety blackness, it was now background to both sky and river. It seemed his world was all dark now, with no light, none at all. Even the stars were hiding behind the clouds, unwilling to hare their light. The stars were cold, he knew now. They were cold and distant, unreachanle and the only light they shed was the light of their pretty lies. There was no light, none at all, for the moon was gone and the stars were hiding.

Then the clouds shifted.

Suddenly, his vision was swamped with light, blazing light. The stars had come out from behind the cloud, and now they blazed with certainty, the promise of a new life. They chased back the darkness of the night, and the sky was filled with light. They were reflected in the river's still waters, and Nightfrost found himself facing a sea of stars.

The stars were divided into four groups, he saw, but still united in the night sky. _Four Clans,_ he realized, _they symbolize the four Clans_. And in that instant, he saw not just stars, but cats. He saw the four Clans, gathered under FourTrees, sharing their news. He saw four Clans, divided under StarClan but united under nature. He saw many cats, each holding up the sky and its weights. These are the Clans, he realized, each cat a unique and different star. Each glowed with certainty and faith in StarClan, and each gleamed with hope. All cats have lost something, all cats have had sorrow weigh them down. But these, in their undying loyalty, they had gotten over it, found light in the seemingly forever darkness. These cats all had hope.

Hope.

But then he saw it. He saw a star, half in the shadow of a cloud. _Cloudshadow_, he remembered with hate. Even in death, she would not leave him. She had taken away his light, his moon, but still she dared to shine in the sky as a star. In a moment of blind anger, he turned away from the stars.

And saw the moon.

His breath caught in his throat. The moon, it hung low in the sky, reflected in the river. It was bright, so bright, but it was a mere half-moon, missing half of its light, its happiness. But still it glowed, and it warmed his soul, just like her smile had.

_Moonbright._

In front of him, he saw the Clans. Behind him, he saw his love. He understood what he had to do now. He had to choose. There was only room for one in his heart, and he knew that he could not live the rest of his life with a paw in each world, the present and the past. He looked towards the stars, and saw them blazing more strongly than ever, and felt their light reach his eyes. But then he saw the moon, so alone in the sky, only half-lit. It was missing something, missing something in its life, in her life, and he knew what it was.

It was missing him.

He turned away from the stars and began to wade towards the moon. Here the water got deeper and deeper, but he did not bother to swim. Soon, he was submerged in cold water, but he didn't care anymore. He could see the moon above him, its light piercing the waters. The moon's light reached his soul, and he felt wondrously free, free from all his grief, all his sorrow. The snow in his soul was melting, melting into a beautiful river that reflected the moon above. In his imagination, he saw the moon getting fuller and fuller, no longer half-lit. He was coming. Blackness tugged at his vision now, blurring his mind. The last thing he saw was her face, her eyes full and warm, welcoming, and the full moon overhead.

_Moonbright. I'm coming._

**A/N: I'm going to post a side story about Cloudshadow's feelings. You have been warned. **

**I told you there would be extreme metaphors...**


	3. Cloudshadow's feelings

**A/N: This is a side story (sort of) about Cloudshadow's feelings. I didn't want to make her look like the all-evil-villain or something. This is a look into her feelings. Very confusing, as her emotions shift a lot.**

**Disclaimer: Erin Hunter owns Warriors.**

Cloudshadow fell with a splash into the river. She shot up, gasping for air, but a paw pushed her down into the river again. She struggled, gray river water battering her body, bubbles blossoming from her mouth. The waters were icy, and the freezing cold seeped into every pore of her body, numbing her mind. Panic gripped her heart now, icy panic spreading tendrils of dread into her body, into her mind. She struggled crazily, blackness creeping into her vision, but it was all in vain.

Her lungs burned, screaming for air, and her movements became frenzied. But the more she fought, the more the merciless paw pushed her under, and her hope of living became smaller and smaller. She could only look through the waters now, look at the air that would spare her, let her live. But a silhouette blocked even that, just like the paw that pushed her down blocked her from life. She looked up and recognized his face.

Nightfrost.

_Why? _The question left her mouth in a stream of bubbles, unheard. It was he that pushed her into the river, he that was depriving her of air, of life. _He is trying to kill me._ Sorrow gripped her heart now, and she saw it spreading fissures from her chest throughout her body, fissures that would grow into cracks, wounds of brokenness. The river would knock her apart now, sweep the pieces that were once Cloudshadow away into the darkness. She looked at him forlornly, but saw the flames in his eyes, saw the fires of hate consuming his soul, shooting out at her through his eyes. She felt his hatefulness, burning her, knocking her down into the darkness. It was Nightfrost's hate that held her down in the icy river waters now, not his paws.

Then she remembered.

_Moonbright, _She remembered. _It was you. _Moonbright had stolen Nightfrost's love. Moonbright had stolen his heart and cracked hers, broken hers into a million pieces. Nightfrost had loved Moonbright, not her. Always Moonbright. She felt the cracks in her soul being glued together by a strange fire, a strange fire burning in her heart. It was a monster, roaring and leaping in her chest, tearing apart the rational mind, until all she felt was anger, anger directed at Moonbright, hatefulness.

_But Moonbright is dead. I killed her. _The flames leaping in her soul burned away at the memory. _I killed her._ Icy cold realization spread through her now, spreading its frost throughout her soul, chasing away the flames. _I killed her. _What good was it to rage at a cat who was already dead? What good would it do? When someone is killed, they only feel one moment of pain, then nothing at all. But their death would spread ripples throughout the souls of many, and it would be them suffering, them living through the worst of the pain. She had killed Moonbright, who had felt only one moment of pain. But Nightfrost, her lover, would feel the true pain, the suffering that she had wished onto Moonbright. Nightfrost would suffer now, suffer the pain of a broken heart, a broken soul_. It was I, I who thrust him into a living hell, I who broke his heart._

She looked at the flames burning in his eyes, the rightful anger scorching her soul. She looked at the wildfires directed at her, all the hatred wanting to burn her into nothingness. And she let his fury scorch her soul, let it burn her away, let it hurt her as much as possible. _But I deserve it, _she thought_. I thrust him into this rage, this fury. I took away what was most important to him. I broke him. I deserve it all._

_He will never love me._

Once again, sorrow spread through her soul, locking her heart in ice. Briefly, pain flashed through her chest, but it was numbed by the coldness gripping her heart, her soul. The sorrow froze over, and her very mind was locked in place, remembering the hate in Nightfrost's eyes, replaying the flames in his soul, wanting to burn her into nothingness. Then the ice shattered into a million pieces, broken by his rage, and her heart shattered along with it, splintering into a million unrepairable pieces. Once again, it spread cracks through her soul, into her very mind, until she was broken, all broken, held together by the last threads of sanity left in her mind.

_Nightfrost. _She thought._ I just wanted you to love me. I'm sorry…._

The river tugging at her fur, wanting its next victim, it was nothing now. The pain in her lungs faded in comparison to the agony in her heart, or what was left of it. Her mind burned with the desperation for air, to live, but it was nothing compared to the emptiness inside her. The physical pain of drowning, it was nothing compared to the shards of sorrow stabbing her soul. Nothing could compare to the pain of a broken heart. Death would be a relief.

She let the river carry her away, let the blackness claim her vision. All she felt was brokenness, and rejection.

Unloved.

**A/N: Can you guess who Cloudshadow's model was? **


End file.
